


i think i've loved you forever

by stupidbadgers



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern AU, Pining, but there's suffering before that, domestic abuse, mention of past suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers
Summary: His words echoed in Iruka's head:I’ll be gone for a week, I expect you to be out by the time I get back.That was it. That was how Iruka found himself not only single, but homeless.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Mizuki/Umino Iruka
Comments: 26
Kudos: 262





	i think i've loved you forever

**Author's Note:**

> it was one of those moments where an idea formed and i had to write it all before i could focus on anything else... i'm sorry to my other wips. i have not forgotten you. 
> 
> a huge thank you to mir for reading this through for me. you are amazing ♡
> 
>  **CONTENT WARNING:** there are depictions of domestic abuse (verbal and physical) in this between mizuki and iruka. please comment or leave me a message on tumblr (linked in the end notes) if you have concerns or questions. 
> 
> ~~

His words echoed in Iruka's head: _I’ll be gone for a week, I expect you to be out by the time I get back._

That was it. That was how Iruka found himself not only single, but homeless. He felt so stupid; he had seen the signs, knew that Mizuki was moving on, but he had convinced himself he was being insecure, making it up. 

He hadn’t been. 

Iruka looked around the room, surveying the stuff that needed to be packed. He didn’t have much, maybe a couple boxes worth of stuff, some clothes. The rest was Mizuki's and honestly, he didn’t want any of it anyway. It was all chock full of memories of their time together and Iruka wasn’t ready to go through those memories. They hurt. 

He could pack it all up tomorrow, he decided. Tonight, however, he couldn’t stay here. It was all too much and he felt like he was suffocating. 

Iruka pulled out his phone, opening his messaging app. The name he was looking for was at the top. 

_< << are you home? _

He only had to wait a minute for the reply, his phone vibrating two short bursts. 

_> >> it's Friday night and you ask if I’m home. I’m offended. _

A second message came through: 

_> >> ofc I’m home, where else would I be _😂 

_> >> what's up, sensei? _

Iruka chewed his lip, debating how much he wanted to tell the other man over text. He didn’t want to tell him any of it, really. Sure, he was Iruka's best friend, but if Iruka told someone else, that would make the whole thing real. And if he waited until he was there, then he could stop the man from coming over and killing Mizuki. 

_< << mind if I come over? Maybe crash on your couch for the night?_

Within seconds of sending the message, his phone was ringing. The screen was lit up with a picture of Kakashi laughing as his dogs piled on him. It was one of Iruka's favorite pictures of Kakashi. 

He reluctantly slid the bar across the screen to answer. 

“Hey,” he said. 

_“What did he do?”_ Kakashi asked, his voice tight. The mirth from the texts was gone. 

“I really don’t want to tell you over the phone. Can I come over? Please?” Iruka's voice cracked on the last word. 

Kakashi's tone softened, _“I’ve told you a million times, you’re welcome whenever you want to come over. Do you want me to come get you?”_

Tears gathered in Iruka's eyes, the kindness of his best friend tugging at his broken heart. “No, that’s okay. I’ll be there soon. Want me to bring anything?” 

“ _No, just you. See you soon.”_

Iruka whispered a faint goodbye before clicking the end call button. He grabbed some clothes and things he would need for the night and left the empty apartment. 

The drive to Kakashi’s was quiet. Iruka had opted to keep the radio off, instead enjoying the sounds of the night as he drove out of the city. Kakashi lived on the outskirts of town on a sprawling piece of land he had inherited when he was just a teenager. He had considered selling it, but something kept him there. It helped that it gave his eight dogs a nice place to run and roam. 

He pulled up the long driveway, the lights from the house glowing up ahead. Iruka parked in his normal spot next to Kakashi's truck. The front door opened as he got out and grabbed his bag from the backseat. 

The sound of claws against gravel made Iruka smile as all eight dogs ran for him, each wanting their turn to say hi to their second favorite person. 

“Hey guys. You act like I wasn’t here just two days ago,” he said, scratching heads. “Let's go inside and then you can all have proper hellos.” He clicked his tongue, just the way Kakashi had taught him and all of the dogs ran back toward the house. Iruka trailed behind them, slinging his bag over his shoulder. When he looked up, Kakashi was leaning against the door frame, illuminated by the lights inside. 

Iruka felt something inside him break a little at the soft smile on Kakashi’s bare face, his mask discarded for the time. There were few people who had the privilege of seeing Kakashi's face, but Iruka was one of them. 

“You look like shit,” Kakashi commented. 

Iruka felt himself hunch forward slightly, a noise that could have been a laugh, but could have been a sob, wrenching itself from him. 

Kakashi pushed himself from the doorjamb, striding to Iruka before catching him in a hug. Iruka melted into Kakashi's warmth, the familiar and comfortable feeling of the other man's arms. 

Iruka cried, full body sobs. Kakashi made comforting noises as he stroked Iruka’s hair. 

After a few moments, Kakashi murmured, “come on, let's go inside. I’ll get you some hot chocolate.” 

He gently tugged Iruka inside, shouldering Iruka's bag. The younger man sniffled and wiped at his nose with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. 

“I’m sorry for snotting on you,” Iruka said, his voice thick with tears. 

Kakashi laughed softly, “it’s not the first time, it probably won’t be the last. Here, sit down, I’ll get the hot chocolate.” 

Iruka was giving all the dogs hello pats when Kakashi returned a moment later with a mug topped with whipped cream. 

“That was quick,” Iruka noted. 

“I started it as soon as we got off the phone,” Kakashi replied, a faint blush on his cheeks. “I had a feeling you would need it.” 

Iruka quietly thanked the man, his own cheeks burning. Kakashi only kept the hot chocolate in his home for Iruka, preferring coffee or tea to the sugary drink. 

The older man sat sideways next to Iruka on the couch, his legs crossed in front of him. His knee brushed Iruka’s leg and he bounced it a little against him. 

They sat in silence as Iruka drank his hot chocolate and Kakashi looked at him, waiting for Iruka to be ready to talk. Kakashi would wait forever for Iruka. He had decided that long ago. 

He couldn’t help the huff of air escape his lungs in a soft laugh. 

“What?” Iruka asked, glaring at him. 

He laughed again, a real laugh this time, swiping his finger against Iruka’s nose, then rubbing it off on his black jeans. 

“You got whipped cream on your nose.” 

Iruka’s cheeks flared again as he ducked his head, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. 

“Ru,” Kakashi started to say, his voice soft. 

Iruka cut him off, “I don’t really want to talk about it. I have to go pack up my stuff tomorrow and then I never want to talk about it again. Never want to talk about _him_ again.” 

“Do you want company to get your stuff?” 

Iruka sighed, staying quiet for a moment before saying, “yeah, that’d be nice.” 

“Good. You’ll stay here until you get back on your feet. I already set up the guest bedroom for you.” 

Iruka reached forward, setting his cup on the coffee table, then leaned back and pulled his legs up, tucking his knees close to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his legs, holding tightly to them. 

His voice was barely a whisper, “Kakashi?” 

Kakashi made an inquisitive noise. 

Tears began to stream down Iruka's cheeks again, “will you just… hold me?” 

Kakashi unfurled his legs, scooting forward and wrapping his arms around Iruka, who leaned in to him sideways. He tucked his face into the hollow of Kakashi's neck, his ear against Kakashi's chest, the steady beat of his heart comforting him. 

* 

Iruka woke in a bed not his own. He was very warm, likely caused by the body pressed against his back. For a moment, he thought it was Mizuki, but the memories of the night before filtered through his sleep addled mind, reminding him that he would never wake with Mizuki next to him again. 

Taking a breath, he realized he knew the scent on the pillow. It smelled of ozone, like a storm in the air, and petrichor, and very faintly of dog, but not in a bad way. It was familiar, a comforting smell that spoke to him, but he couldn’t quite tell what it was trying to say. 

He had no idea how he had managed to end up in Kakashi’s bed or why the man was curled around him like an octopus, but he couldn’t bring himself to worry about it. Iruka decided it was nice having someone hold him like this, with an arm curled around his waist, holding him snuggly, and legs pressed up against his own. Mizuki wasn’t a cuddler, had barely even touched Iruka if it wasn’t for his own pleasure. 

He considered this, the thought bouncing around like a ball in a pinball machine. 

He and Mizuki had been together for the last two and a half years and while it had been good for the first part, the last year or so had been… not great. Iruka mulled this over. The last year had been full of fights and spats and Iruka realized he hadn’t been happy in a long time. He tried to think about the times he had been happy in the last year, but quickly realized, none of those times involved Mizuki. He had loved the other man, as awful as he had been to Iruka, but Mizuki didn’t make him happy and he hadn’t cared about Iruka’s happiness. 

Mizuki had belittled him, was condescending in such ways that Iruka didn’t realize until later that he was being mocked or talked down to. He was secretive and often accused Iruka of cheating on him, though Iruka was pretty sure Mizuki had been the one cheating. 

When they did have sex, Mizuki was rough and selfish, taking what he wanted and leaving Iruka feeling used and discarded. He would have bruises for days and marks he did his best to keep covered, especially around his other friends. Iruka did not want to explain them. He was pretty sure Kakashi already knew, had already figured it all out in that genius brain of his, but if Iruka didn’t acknowledge it, then it wasn’t real. 

He wondered, briefly, why he stayed so long. It was obvious to him now, not twelve hours after Mizuki had broken up with him, that Mizuki did not love him, had possibly never loved him. He was a convenient toy for the other man, easy to toss aside now that he had found something better. And Iruka was sure Mizuki thought he had found something better. He almost felt pity for the other person Mizuki had left him for, but found that his selfless nature was feeling a bit apathetic this morning. 

He was still slightly heartbroken, despite his feelings toward Mizuki at the moment. Part of him felt like he had wasted the last two and a half years, lost time he could never get back being unhappy with someone he thought he loved. He needed time to mourn and process those feelings. 

Kakashi made a noise and Iruka felt the man rub his face between his shoulder blades. The arm tightened even more on his waist, before loosening again as Kakashi went back into unconsciousness. Iruka smiled, a warm feeling settling in his chest. For all his smooth and aloof persona, Kakashi was a sweetheart. He and Iruka had been best friends for years, since high school when Kakashi got caught in one of Iruka's glitter bombs. He still remembered the wide-eyed look of dismay as Kakashi shook rainbow glitter out of his unruly silver hair. 

Iruka treasured Kakashi, knew how lucky he was to have someone so kind in his life. He was always there for Iruka, no matter what. 

The comfort of his best friend's arms overtook his overworked brain. He had decided he had done enough thinking about Mizuki and let himself succumb to sleep once more. 

* 

When Iruka woke again, he was alone. He tried not to let the thought consume him. He would be waking alone all the time from now on and it left him cold. 

He could hear faint talking, but couldn’t make out the words. Iruka decided to follow the voice that he was sure was Kakashi's. He would pause for a few moments before resuming, like he was having a conversation, but Iruka heard no other voice. 

He padded quietly from the room, following the sounds to the kitchen. 

“What should I do?” Kakashi asked, though not to Iruka. Pakkun, a small pug (and Kakashi's oldest dog), sat at Kakashi's feet, staring up at him with an expression that Iruka could swear said “how the fuck should I know?” 

“What should you do about what?” Iruka asked as he entered the kitchen. 

Kakashi's head whipped up, his cheeks stained pink. 

“Want some breakfast?” Kakashi asked. Iruka knew the redirection tactic, had used it with the kids he taught, but he didn’t call Kakashi on it. 

“Some coffee,” he said. “I’m not really hungry.” 

Kakashi turned to the coffee pot, fixing Iruka's coffee with two spoons of sugar, just the way he liked it. He set the mug in front of Iruka who had sat at the breakfast bar before propping himself against the counter across from Iruka. Kakashi crossed his arms across his chest. 

“You’re staring,” Iruka said from behind his mug. Kakashi had this way of looking at him, like he could see inside his mind and into his soul. He didn’t know how the man did it, but it made Iruka feel flayed every time. 

A flicker of a grin went across his face before he spoke. Iruka wondered what had made him smile. 

“Maa, lost on the path of life,” he replied with a wave of his hand. “Anyway, do you need boxes? We can stop for some on the way over.” 

“I won’t need many, but yes, we’ll need some boxes,” Iruka said then drained the last of his coffee. “I’ll get changed and then we can go.” He pulled his long hair over his shoulder, separating it into three chunks and beginning to braid it. 

“Oh,” he said, “I almost forgot to ask. Why was I in your bed?” 

Kakashi turned back around from where he was fiddling with the coffee pot, “you wouldn’t let me go last night, asked me to hold you until the pain went away. I wasn’t going to sleep on the couch, though it is a very comfy couch.” 

Iruka’s cheeks burned, the flush spreading down his chest. He stammered, “oh, um, well... thank you. It means a lot to me.” 

“Anytime, sensei.” Kakashi smiled with his eyes. It would be almost comical if it weren’t such a genuine emotion, one that Iruka adored. 

* 

Hearing the front door of the apartment open and close, Iruka called out, “Kashi, will you take the box by the door? It’s the last one besides this one.” 

The voice that replied was not Kakashi's. 

“I didn’t expect you to actually leave,” Mizuki sneered from the doorway of the bedroom. 

Iruka looked over his shoulder at him, confused, “you broke up with me. You told me to be gone before you got back. I thought you were going to be gone the whole week?” 

Iruka stood, walking toward the other man, who was standing with his arms crossed in a put-upon way. 

“So what? You just moved on already? With that freak?” Mizuki accused ignoring Iruka’s question. His words twisting something inside Iruka. He bristled at the insult to Kakashi. 

“He's not a _freak_ , he's my best friend. And I’ve told you a thousand times to not call him that. Besides, what would it matter if I moved on? _You broke up with me_." 

Mizuki's face contorted in anger, “stop saying that.” 

Iruka was at a loss. He didn’t understand why Mizuki was so angry. He pushed a hand through his hair, loose from its braid. 

“But it’s what happened. You told me to leave,” he said, tossing his hands at his sides. 

Mizuki stormed across the room, slapping Iruka hard across the face. 

“I said stop saying that!” he roared. 

Iruka clutched his stinging cheek. He willed away the tears that had formed in his eyes. The other man had never hit Iruka and the shock of it was unsettling. Iruka wished he hadn’t sent Kakashi out to get more coffee. 

Mizuki wasted no time in striking again, this time yanking hard on Iruka’s hair, wrapping the braid around his hand like a rope. 

“You think you can just leave? Just move on?” Mizuki was practically shouting in his ear. “Or maybe you never really loved me, huh? I bet you were _fucking_ that freak the whole time we were together. It’s not right the way you two act around each other.” 

He pulled Iruka out of the room by his hair, making Iruka bend to try to relieve some of the tension on his scalp. Iruka felt fear course through him. He knew Mizuki was unpredictable and had a temper, but he hadn’t ever thought him capable of hurting him like this. 

Mizuki twisted Iruka around to face him, his face a snarl. He let go of Iruka’s hair long enough to wrap his hand around Iruka’s throat. Iruka’s hands wrapped around Mizuki’s wrists, trying to pry it away from him. Distantly Iruka wondered why he stayed with this man for so long, but the thought was cut short by Mizuki’s voice. 

“You’re mine. He doesn’t get to have you. Ever,” he said, shoving Iruka back with a hard push. 

Iruka would have been able to catch his balance if he hadn’t been lacking oxygen, but he stumbled, black spots appearing in his vision. The shove was hard enough to throw him back toward the small table in the dining area. His back connected with the table and he felt something sharp just below his shoulder blades. 

His eyes opened wide as he remembered having put the scissors on the edge of the table before going into the bedroom to pack the last box. He slid down to the floor, the motion causing the scissors to catch against the table and drag up. 

Iruka had no idea how deep they had gone, but he knew they were sharp. They were old scissors, ones that were heavy and made of a hard metal that was made to last forever. Pain was radiating through his back and the world was growing fuzzier. He collapsed on his front, his head turned to the side. Feet approached him and then he felt his chin being jerked upward. Mizuki’s feral grin was all he could see. 

“And now, no one will have you,” Mizuki growled, yanking the scissors from Iruka’s back and tossing them on the floor. 

He disappeared from Iruka’s vision. The world was growing dimmer. After what felt like a lifetime, he could have sworn he heard his name being shouted. 

* 

Kakashi held both cups of coffee in one hand while he opened the door to the apartment Iruka no longer shared with Mizuki. _Good riddance too,_ Kakashi thought uncharitably. He had never liked the man, didn’t think he was worth Iruka’s time and attention, much less love. He was rude to Iruka and Kakashi was almost positive he was physically abusive, but he could never get Iruka to open up about it. Probably because Iruka knew that if he confirmed anything, Kakashi would kill Mizuki. 

“Iruka, I’m back. They didn’t have any scones, but we’ll get some on the way back home,” Kakashi called out. He rounded the corner to the kitchen and dining area to put Iruka’s coffee on the table. The cups never made it to the table, dropping from his hand as he saw Iruka lying on the floor, blood pouring slowly from his back. 

Kakashi’s world darkened and for a brief moment he didn’t see Iruka, but rather his own father, a knife protruding from his stomach, lying in a pool of his own blood. Then his vision cleared and he was moving toward Iruka, ripping his own overshirt off to press against Iruka’s back. He pulled out his phone, calling for an ambulance. 

“Stay with me, Ru. Everything is gonna be just fine. You just gotta hold on a little longer,” Kakashi babbled. “You can’t die, please don’t die.” 

* 

Kakashi didn’t remember much after that, things happening in a blur around him. The EMTs came and took Iruka to the hospital. He had gone in the ambulance with them, but he didn’t remember the ride. After getting to the hospital they took Iruka somewhere Kakashi wasn’t allowed to follow and so he paced, waiting for someone to tell him something. 

A moment he remembered distinctly was reaching up to push his hand through his hair and seeing his hands covered in blood, the red dried to a brown and caked under his nails and in the nailbeds. He felt like he was six again, his hands covered in his father’s blood as he pressed his hands against a wound that had long since bled out. 

He had looked around wildly for a restroom, needing to get the blood from his hands. 

It felt like a million lifetimes had passed by the time a doctor came out and told him Iruka was stable, but critical. He had lost a lot of blood, but was very lucky the wound was just to the right of his spine. Kakashi had been led back to Iruka’s room where he had proceeded to take up residence in the chair beside the bed. 

* 

After several days in the hospital, Iruka was released. He had been quiet during his stay, not looking at anyone or anything, just a vacant stare out of the window behind Kakashi. The older man drove them to his home in silence. He had already collected the last of Iruka’s things from the apartment and had closed the door to that part of Iruka’s life. 

It began to rain on the drive home, the quiet patter of the drops on the roof of the vehicle. Kakashi was worried about Iruka. He wasn’t often this quiet for this long. It made Kakashi anxious, not being able to read his best friend. Iruka was an open-book and had always been that way. Few times over the years had he closed himself off this much, and even then Kakashi had been able to get at least a little bit of a read on him. Now, however, he could get nothing. 

“Want to stop for some food? Or I can cook?” Kakashi asked, trying to break the silence. 

“Not hungry,” Iruka said barely loud enough to carry over the rain. 

Kakashi didn’t try to talk again after that. 

When they arrived back at Kakashi’s, Iruka went to the room Kakashi had set up for him, closing the door behind him. Kakashi was at a loss for what to do, so he went to the kitchen and pulled out ingredients for baking. The precise measurements coupled with exact instructions helped soothe his mind into a meditative state. The bonus would be having something sweet and chocolatey for Iruka. Maybe Kakashi could bribe some words out of Iruka with brownies. 

* 

Iruka sat in the quiet room, muffled noises from the kitchen barely reaching him. He was so tired and his back ached so much. His heart hurt more. He hadn’t expected Mizuki to leave him to die on the floor, but he had and Iruka had almost died. 

Mizuki had been long gone by the time any law enforcement had arrived to question Iruka and he expected that he wouldn’t see the bastard again. It would be too soon if he did. 

Any lingering love or affection or nostalgia that Iruka had felt for the man was gone, torn away when he walked away from Iruka bleeding out on the floor. Now all that was left was a hollow feeling in his chest that ached like something was missing. 

He didn’t know how long he had sat in the dark and quiet room, but it felt like hours, maybe days. It couldn’t have been the latter though, Kakashi would have burst through the door by then. The thought made an errant giggle escape Iruka, picturing the scene perfectly in his mind. 

Iruka pulled his long braid over his shoulder, stroking the silky strands that were tightly bound. The gesture used to bring him comfort, but now it just made him think of the way Mizuki had used it to abuse him. His scalp felt a phantom pain at the memory. He looked at the braid in disgust. It needed to go. 

He got up, slowly to not jostle his back, and went through the box that should have contained his scissors. Buried under some stuff, there they sat, gleaming in the dull light. They had been cleaned. Briefly he wondered why they weren’t taken for evidence but it didn’t matter. He grabbed them, weighty in his hand. 

Iruka turned to the mirror that sat above the dresser. He avoided looking at his face, knowing it was pale and perhaps a little gaunt, his scar standing out across his nose. His eyes would look dead inside. He didn’t want to see that. Instead he focused on the braid still slung over his shoulder. He pushed it back so that it hung down his back, just barely brushing the bandages wrapped around his torso. Iruka had removed his shirt as soon as the door had closed behind him, unable to deal with the scratching of the fabric on the bandages. 

He turned sideways so he could see the braid. It hurt to lift his arms, to put strain on the damaged tissue and muscle between his shoulder blades, but he did not care. The agony of it left him feeling _something_. 

Iruka grabbed the braid and put the scissors just above where his hand was at the nape of his neck. He made sure to keep his head straight and level and then _snip_. The sound was enough to make Iruka drop the scissors and the braid that dangled loosely in his hand. There was something satisfying in using the same scissors that nearly killed him to destroy something he had loved so much. He wasn’t vain necessarily, but he had loved his hair, had been comforted by the long, dark strands and loved to have it played with. 

The scissors clattering to the floor startled Iruka. He turned around to look before dropping to his knees, his newly chopped hair falling in front of his face. The cut portion stayed in its braid, laying on the floor in a mocking twist. He slowly reached out, his fingers hesitantly touching the hair still tightly bound. A sob wrenched itself from his chest and then he was crying, big heaving sobs that he couldn’t control. Pain coursed through his back as the crying aggravated the wound. 

Hands were holding his face, before he was pulled into an embrace. The arms that wrapped around him were careful not to go near the wound on his back. Iruka cried into Kakashi’s shoulder. He knew now it couldn’t be anyone besides Kakashi. The man was always there for him, always making sure he was okay. He loved Kakashi more than he had loved anyone since his parents had died. 

* 

Time passed in an odd fashion. Iruka was on leave from work for several weeks, letting his body recover. The children he taught had all made him get well soon cards that his friend and coworker brought to him when she visited to check in on him. Kurenai didn’t comment on his hair, had just looked at it with her intense gaze and then brought him in for a hug, careful of his back. 

Several of his and Kakashi’s other friends visited, but no one stayed long and that was okay with Iruka. He didn’t want to see anyone, not really. Not yet. Kakashi was the only one who made him feel safe and secure and comfortable. Most of the time he was at Kakashi’s home—though, Kakashi was insisting it was also his home now—he spent curled on the couch next to the older man, leaning in to his touch. They read books or watched movies or sometimes just sat in the quiet, snuggling with the dogs. They didn’t require things of the other. 

* 

Now several months later and Iruka hadn’t moved out, hadn’t even bothered to try to find a different place. He had tried to offer rent to Kakashi instead after an argument that had consisted of Kakashi telling Iruka he would stay here until he no longer _wanted_ to be there, but he was no imposition to Kakashi. In fact, Kakashi had blushed a very dark wine and muttered that he enjoyed having Iruka around all the time. Iruka blushed himself, said an awkward, slightly strangled “okay” and had finished eating. 

When he had offered the rent money, Kakashi looked at him with the most dead-eyed stare, then turned around and walked out the backdoor to go do something with the dogs. Iruka had huffed, but didn’t press the issue further. 

* 

They had been growing closer as time passed, which Iruka found odd considering how close they had been before. More often than not, Iruka fell asleep holding on to Kakashi while they lounged on the couch. After awhile Kakashi would help him to bed, but several times Iruka had asked Kakashi to stay, to hold him while he slept. It helped keep the nightmares at bay. 

Iruka noticed more things about Kakashi; his quirks and habits that one only really sees when they live with someone. He knew that Kakashi liked to sleep late, but he also learned that Kakashi didn’t fully wake up until after three cups of coffee and if Iruka really wanted something, he had to ask it after the first cup because Kakashi would agree to anything after the first cup of coffee. Iruka knew that Kakashi hummed while cooking, but he found it was a different song each time, made up tunes and actual songs alike. 

It was six months later that he realized he was maybe just a little bit in love with Kakashi and he was pretty sure he had been for years. There was something about the way Kakashi took care of him and he took care of Kakashi, the way the other man looked at him sometimes, like he had hung the moon and the stars in the sky. 

As he considered the time they had spent together over the last handful of months, he laughed to himself, wondering how he had missed it. They did everything together, behaved the way couples did. 

“What’s so funny?” Kakashi asked beside him on the couch. 

Iruka moved around until his head lay on Kakashi’s lap. He looked up at the man, a silly grin on his face. 

“Revelations, I guess.” 

Kakashi hummed, “oh? Care to share with the class, sensei?” 

Iruka’s smile turned soft and his stomach filled with butterflies. The look of adoration on Kakashi’s face gave him the courage to speak. 

“I think I love you.” 

Kakashi must have felt the weight behind the words. Iruka had said before that he loved Kakashi, but this was different. These held a different kind of love. 

“Is that so? And what made this a revelation?” Kakashi asked. His tone was teasing but his dark grey eyes were serious. 

“You’re my everything, Kashi. I can’t explain it more than that.” Iruka bit his lower lip. He watched as Kakashi’s eyes tracked the movement before flickering back up to Iruka’s dark brown eyes. 

A smile broke across Kakashi’s face, “then I guess it’s a good thing I understand you so well.” He leaned his head down and Iruka brought his head up, their mouths melding together in the middle. 

When they broke apart, it was for only a moment, only a fraction away from each other. 

“I think I’ve loved you since that damn glitter bomb and I will love you forever,” Kakashi whispered against Iruka’s lips. Iruka laughed, the sound full of a joy he hadn’t felt in a long time, as he crashed their mouths back together. 

  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! i appreciate each and every kudos and comment! one day i will get to responding to all the comments! 
> 
> stay safe and healthy out there! 
> 
> find me on [tumblr](https://stupidbadgers.tumblr.com).


End file.
